Why Do We Feel So Guilty About What We Want?
A few days ago a dream of mine came true. Well sort of – let me explain:You see, there is this Leica camera that I've been coveting for the past year. The cameras as well as the lenses are so much lighter than my Nikon, which means less troubles for my neck and wrist. They're so much smaller, which is great since I want my camera's influence to be as small as possible in every situation. They come with promise of adventure, travels, and getting to know your fellow human beings.So what's the problem? The camera and the lens I want would total at $13,000.Yeah. So I gave up that dream. Or well, I might be able to save up to get the camera with this particular lens when I turn 50.But recently it was brought to my attention that there is another Leica out there, that is in a more realistic price range for me; the Leica Q. And I could trade in some old gear to pay part of it, since I would only need one of my Nikons to use during sessions in addition to the Q.After about a week of thinking about why I want it and do I really, really, REALLY need it, I bought it. I've had it for a couple days now, and haven't made a big deal about it publicly.Why?Because I felt guilt for going after something I wanted. Super weird. Even though I know that down the line it will save me from health issues – which is money in my pocket right?Even though the camera is for work, I had this gnawing feeling at the pit of my stomach – how selfish are you for buying something so indulgent? I can only imagine this kind of guilt only gets worse when you have kids – how can I buy these things for me when the kids need a 17th set of legos?But what happens if we make ourselves a priority, if we reward ourselves, if we let ourselves be a healthy amount of selfish? We feel better. We act better. We're better partners, friends, neighbors, pet owners, parents, business owners, strangers, aunts and uncles.So can we all make a pact, and say that it's ok to want something, and to go after it sometimes. Even if there would be wiser things to spend on. What's the point of doing the hard work if you can't enjoy some benefits?I know not everyone can spend thousands on something special right this moment, I'm lucky that I could make it happen. But maybe you felt guilty about buying a new dress for a work event, or for wanting half an hour in a hot bath without kids tugging at your arm, or for planning a getaway weekend with your girlfriends.Sorry – I'm getting a bit carried away here, because I woke up with these thoughts in my head and had to write them down. And then I thought others might need to hear these words:
Figure out what you need to do to make your dream, big or small, happen and take those steps! If the dream is too big to make come true right now, figure out how you can make little things that will tickle those same feel-good senses.